Janey Godley's Blog

I am in Lanzarote. Due to a somewhat worrying medical situation, I missed going to Glastonbury. Ashley and I have come to Lanzarote instead. It was a surprise gift from husband. He knew I would have time off after my minor surgery and decided to treat me. So he sent Ashley and me on a last minute holiday.

I would never have picked Lanzarote in my life. I hate package holidays and despise the smell of beer and kebabs. BUT this place is awesome, it is quiet and huge and the food is wonderful.

We are staying at the Gran Melia Volcain in Playa Blanca. I am stunned at how great the hotel is! Its 5 star in Lanzarote standards and trust me – it shows. I am so relaxed. Ashley loves the swimming pools and I think our complex has four; I am not sure as we keep stumbling across more stuff as we walk about. The place is quiet and there are hardly any guests – which I am loving.

I imagined Lanzarote to be a place where people eat hot lard and sing the ‘Birdie Song’ continuously as baldy British men beat their wives and kids get sunburnt or ignored for a bingo night.

I haven’t had a proper holiday in years. I am so happy and though am worried about issues surrounding health and family, I am having a great time. I post up some pics when I get back.

Please remember all comedy fans of the blog I am doing my one woman show at Norwich Playhouse on 25^th July and at Eden Court Inverness on 27^th July.

More news from Lanzarote this week!

I have been increasingly worried lately about my lovely wee step mum who hasn’t been well. Then I had a medical thing of my own which meant I had to cancel my appearance at The Glastonbury Comedy Tent, so life sucks a bit.

I am just back from Nottingham, I was MC at Jongleurs and I loved it. We stayed in serviced apartments with Urban Self Catering who really went out on a limb for me, they are amazing people and just wonderful hosts. The big two bedroom house was

I do like Nottingham and am looking forward to my big one woman show at Norwich Playhouse. Comedy is going well.

So, considering all this medical stuff goes well, Ashley and I are going to have our first holiday together in years. We are hoping to go to Turkey to Olu Deniz. I saw it on the web and it looks amazing. I really need a beach holiday and time to myself…and with Ashley! Husband hates beaches and holidays in general, so he is staying at home.

I really need a break just before the Edinburgh Festival.

I am hoping the hotel or destination does have internet, as I need to write my column for The Scotsman from a beach! That will be cool.

So I am off to sleep and wake up tomorrow and find a travel agent that will organise my wee holiday.

Unfaithful marriages are what keep gossip columns alive; it needs stupid people to read about it and feeds like barracuda’s on every detail of some unfortunate couple’s life to survive.The most recent and enduring story is of footballer Ashley Cole and Cheryl Tweedy of Girls Aloud fame. This yarn is still being hocked out round the glossy mags.

You can’t pick up a magazine without seeing the angry Mrs. Cole is in a basque with the by-line “Would you cheat on this woman?”

It’s an old story; stupid man cheats on gorgeous sexy wife. Why would he do that? Have you seen the woman he had a dalliance with? Is the wife not fragrant? Is she not beautiful? Why would he stray when he has this hottie at home?

When did straying in a marriage have anything to do with looks? Unless you are married to the Hunch Back of Notre Dame and have a quick one night stand with Brad Pitt does that theory come into play.

Society dictates that if you have a sexy partner, you have no right to go off and sully that relationship by having sex with a plain person. Which means that if some overpaid footballer had a one night stand with the latest Miss World, would that make the unfaithful act ok in his wife’s eyes? ‘I don’t mind you shagging around, as long as she is pretty?’

We all recall the Beckham alleged affair with Rebecca Loos, the pouty Posh One screamed “David wouldn’t touch a fat ugly woman” Which leads us to believe that if Mr Golden Balls screwed Eva Longoria then at least he wasn’t batting below his weight and Victoria could fully understand why he did it! Who makes these rules up?

That theory is all nonsense and the media is naïve to use beauty as a means to be staying faithful. As if sexy women or hot men never get cheated on!

If that were the case then why is Hollywood full of divorced beautiful people?

Most psychologists will tell you unfaithfulness has nothing to do with how sexy the wife or husband is, the whole episode hinges on the persons own self worth and how they feel being in a committed relationship.

The mistress isn’t always a sex bomb that came along and hooked he bedazzled man.

We all recall the hoots of horror when it was revealed that the Prince of Wales had chosen the slightly haggard Camilla Parker Bowles over the poised and perfect Princess Diana, who at the time was apparently the words most beautiful woman. What was Charles thinking?

We all know what he was thinking now, he loved Camilla.

Diana could wear all the pretty frocks she chooses, and her man still wanted the bushy blonde who smoked too much and lived in her wellies.

It gave the ordinary women all over the world a glimmer of hope, Princes can love the not so pretty girls as well, and the ugly sisters among us can win the kings heart. Prince Charles empowered us women more than Diana ever did by choosing Camilla over his glamorous wife, though we never really thanked him for it.

People are unfaithful because they want to, it doesn’t matter how attractive or ugly the wife or secret partner. It happens.

Hey all, I will be at The Norwich Playhouse on July 25^th doing my comedy show.  

If you want tickets or any other info please click here

http://www.norwichplayhouse.org.uk/viewshowdetail.php?id=349

I have been to Norwich on boating holidays in the past and I LOVE the place, hope to see some of you there! Janey

I am a Scottish Stand up Comic, Actor Playwright and Journalist. Also am published Author of "Handstands in the Dark" my critically acclaimed memoir.

I work all over the world, either on tour with comedy or theatre. Follow my stories daily and catch up with my unique life.

I love writing my Blog & reading the comments posted, but I do not always have the time to reply or to chat, Thanks.

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